FIRST KISSES
Boy: “Wow! Where did you learn to kiss like that?”
Girl: “I used to be a tester in a bubblegum factory.”
THE PENGUIN DICTIONARY OF JOKES,
EDITOR FRANK METCALF
For 50 percent of us, the first kiss happens before the age of fourteen. That’s when our pituitary gland starts the crazy, hormonal happy dance. These pubescent kisses mark the precursor to sex, love and marriage (though not necessarily in that order). It forever changes our kissing: the way we think of it, the way we do it, and the way it makes us feel. Without fail, we can all bring to mind the who, when and where of that first kiss.
Here’s some great “first kiss” stories played back as if they happened yesterday:
“My first smooch was when I was fifteen years old. It was quite awkward. I didn’t know what I was doing . . a lot of saliva was exchanged. Then he asked me if could give him a hicky ...I had no idea how to perform this deed. So I bit him. He did indeed have a mark on his throat, but it had teeth marks. So you live and learn!
D. S.
“Seventeen years old.Four weeks into starting freshman year at college. I spotted a guy on my first day at school. He was a junior . . . and absolutely beautiful . . . One night he walked me to my dorm.We stopped and sat on a bench outside.With the chapel all lit up in front of us,on really peaceful, clear night, he leaned in for a smooch. All I can say? Magical. Being kissed by someone you’ve had a crush on and wanted to kiss,particularly when you thought it would never happen, is pretty powerful stuff. He and I were a couple for three and half years after that.
C. C.
“My first kiss was seven minutes in heaven with LL in sixth grade. Didn’t know to breath through my nose and when he came in for the kiss, I held my breath . . . after thirty seconds or so,I started squeaking.”
G. L.
D. S.
“Seventeen years old.Four weeks into starting freshman year at college. I spotted a guy on my first day at school. He was a junior . . . and absolutely beautiful . . . One night he walked me to my dorm.We stopped and sat on a bench outside.With the chapel all lit up in front of us,on really peaceful, clear night, he leaned in for a smooch. All I can say? Magical. Being kissed by someone you’ve had a crush on and wanted to kiss,particularly when you thought it would never happen, is pretty powerful stuff. He and I were a couple for three and half years after that.
C. C.
“My first kiss was seven minutes in heaven with LL in sixth grade. Didn’t know to breath through my nose and when he came in for the kiss, I held my breath . . . after thirty seconds or so,I started squeaking.”
G. L.
Even our sexy, female, celebrity sisters remember their first kiss. And they’re just as exciting, uncertain, awkward and colorfully detailed as our own:
“My first real kiss was at a girlfriend’s sweet sixteen party. I kissed the most gorgeous boy in high school, the guy everyone fancied, and I was so overcome, I cried . . .”
LISA KUDROW
“The first boy I ever kissed was Ronny Howard in the fifth grade. He had real white, blond hair and sky-blue eyes. I wrote his name all over my sneakers and on the playground, I used to take off the top part of my school uniform and chase him around.”
MADONNA
LISA KUDROW
“The first boy I ever kissed was Ronny Howard in the fifth grade. He had real white, blond hair and sky-blue eyes. I wrote his name all over my sneakers and on the playground, I used to take off the top part of my school uniform and chase him around.”
MADONNA
