Most Memorable Kisses

When the lovely ladies from the Kissing survey were asked about their most memorable kisses—from their first to those special ones that have stayed locked deep inside the kissing memory banks of their hearts and souls—they had many wonderful experiences to share.

FIRST KISSES

Boy: “Wow! Where did you learn to kiss like that?”
Girl: “I used to be a tester in a bubblegum factory.”
THE PENGUIN DICTIONARY OF JOKES,
EDITOR FRANK METCALF

For 50 percent of us, the first kiss happens before the age of fourteen. That’s when our pituitary gland starts the crazy, hormonal happy dance. These pubescent kisses mark the precursor to sex, love and marriage (though not necessarily in that order). It forever changes our kissing: the way we think of it, the way we do it, and the way it makes us feel. Without fail, we can all bring to mind the who, when and where of that first kiss.

Here’s some great “first kiss” stories played back as if they happened yesterday:

“My first smooch was when I was fifteen years old. It was quite awkward. I didn’t know what I was doing . . a lot of saliva was exchanged. Then he asked me if could give him a hicky ...I had no idea how to perform this deed. So I bit him. He did indeed have a mark on his throat, but it had teeth marks. So you live and learn!
D. S.

“Seventeen years old.Four weeks into starting freshman year at college. I spotted a guy on my first day at school. He was a junior . . . and absolutely beautiful . . . One night he walked me to my dorm.We stopped and sat on a bench outside.With the chapel all lit up in front of us,on really peaceful, clear night, he leaned in for a smooch. All I can say? Magical. Being kissed by someone you’ve had a crush on and wanted to kiss,particularly when you thought it would never happen, is pretty powerful stuff. He and I were a couple for three and half years after that.
C. C.

“My first kiss was seven minutes in heaven with LL in sixth grade. Didn’t know to breath through my nose and when he came in for the kiss, I held my breath . . . after thirty seconds or so,I started squeaking.”
G. L.

Even our sexy, female, celebrity sisters remember their first kiss. And they’re just as exciting, uncertain, awkward and colorfully detailed as our own:

“My first real kiss was at a girlfriend’s sweet sixteen party. I kissed the most gorgeous boy in high school, the guy everyone fancied, and I was so overcome, I cried . . .”
LISA KUDROW

“The first boy I ever kissed was Ronny Howard in the fifth grade. He had real white, blond hair and sky-blue eyes. I wrote his name all over my sneakers and on the playground, I used to take off the top part of my school uniform and chase him around.”
MADONNA

What Makes a Kiss Unforgettable?

Kisses. If we’re lucky, we’ll spend a lifetime making many picture-perfect kissing memories. And like other happy moments, we’ll keep a mental scrapbook, collecting these souvenirs like postcards to mark them in our hearts and minds.

But what makes a kiss unforgettable? Is it how romantic it was? How steamy and sexy? How tender or heartbreaking? How it made us “fa-shizzle” hither and yon? How it touched our hearts and souls? Or is a kiss made memorable by all sorts of pieces coming together in that ultimate collision of senses, emotions and experiences?

And have you ever wondered why is it we are able to remember momentous kisses throughout our lives— like the first boy we ever kissed, or that first one with that someone special—but can’t recall what happened the other day? Maybe it’s our hearts, not our heads that remember.


UNFORGETTABLE FANTASIES

Our adolescence is also when we usually start dreaming about kissing, be it with the adorable boy next store or the teen idol in our favorite magazines. Surely many of us taped a poster of some dreamy celebrity or hot rock star to the wall or ceiling above our beds believing the object of our youthful lust would ravish us with kisses among our schoolbooks and stuffed animals. The wonderful folly of the teen mind!

And those sky-high dreams might follow us into adulthood. Only now, they might feature a handsome hero man (who’s a ringer for George Clooney) snatching us from the jaws of some sinister villain while simultaneously ravishing us with breathtaking kisses (and of course, our hair and makeup look glamorous despite several days in captivity!).


UNFORGETTABLE SCENTS AND TASTES

Scents or tastes, like the smell of a flower, the flavor of a chewing gum or a cologne that lingers, might also make a kiss unforgettable. I remember one hottie who made his kisses last a lifetime by “spritzing” the love notes he mailed with his aftershave. Stacking this pile of kisses on my bedside table, the supple, silky sweetness of his sexy smooches would waft over me in the dark. The fragrance of it curled my toenails!

“It was thy kiss,Love,that made me immortal.”
MARGARET FULLER (1801–1880)

UNFORGETTABLE INSPIRATIONS

A kiss can be just as unforgettable for the changes it inspires in us as for the sexy, feel-good giddiness. Like the kind of kiss that would’ve awakened Snow White off that glass bed in that forest. A kiss like that can open a heavy, jammed door, and let the sun shine and the birds sing again. It has power, shifts our outlook, boosts our ego, and can even make us forget something like a broken heart. A kiss like that restores the faith and hope that there’ll always be unforgettable kisses to be made.

Kissing Traditions that Started Long Ago

Ancient Rome: The Romans started all sorts of kissing traditions, like kissing at the altar to seal the “I do” deal, and kissing rings and garments of swanky officials in a sign of respect and submission. They also started the custom of husbands smooching wives when they returned home. Apparently, they were just checking to make sure their ladies hadn’t been sipping wine all day!

Early A.D.: Kissing became more of a holy, reverent act used for religious rites. This is when people started kissing the Bible, an altar cloth or a baby at baptism.

Middle Ages: The custom of using an “X” as a symbol started for those who could not read or write. Contracts would be signed with an “X,” then kissed to make it binding. This is also when the submissive act of “kissing the ground you walk on” began as a way to define social standing.

The History of the First “first” Kiss

Despite our knowledge of ancient times, there’s not much known about the genesis of kissing. The first recording of an erotic kiss was in India circa 1500 b.c. (more on this later). But the how, when and why of the first “first” kiss remains a matter of theory.

The scientific camp traces kissing to Paleolithic man. When a caveman sought a mate, he wasn’t just looking for the type of girl who could clean and cook. Or had a career that made her successful in her own right. The ideal woman had to have a good immune system. And be fertile and strong.

Conditions back then were tough. And a chick from a healthy gene pool was more important than a dowry of hides and furs taken from the woolly mastodons roaming the plains. So these scruffy-looking apes would choose a lady by tasting her saliva.

Getting technical for a moment, saliva has this thinga-ma-bobby in the body called immunoglobulin (IgA). This IgA thing binds to bacteria and triggers the immune system to destroy them. Saliva also measures stress and anxiety levels, and can indicate recent traumas. Like being trampled by a herd of buffalo. Or accidentally being stabbed with a spear. You can just see the prehistoric courting ritual playing out like those reality TV dating shows!

Here are a few hypotheses from anthropologists on the first kiss:

Cave mothers would pass already-chewed food into the mouths of their babies. Kissing was just a natural evolution from birth to suck our mother’s breast for nourishment— simply a continual desire to breast-feed. Cavemen and women would perform a “salutations” ritual of breathing closely on each other’s cheeks, sharing the scent of their breath.

The more likely story? One day during this so-called breath exchange, some caveboy must have slipped, causing his lips to collide with some totally adorable cavegirl, where mouths lingered in harmony for longer than what would have been considered socially appropriate. Thus, the first real kiss as we know it.

Here’s another unofficial theory to be offered on the evolution of kissing. Even those Bedrock babes understood that a kiss spoke volumes about their potential compatibility with a guy. So to get a sip of the pheremonal cocktail, they’d initiate games like “Spin the Club” or “7 Minutes in a Cave.” These clever cave lassies knew a charming boy whose kisses made them tingle would keep them happy in those damp caves at night.

Remember, ladies, the kiss has forever been the key to finding that special one. Our Stone Age sisters knew it back when.

What’s your Definition of a Kiss?

Throughout this book you’ll find the responses from my kissing survey. The comments from these ladies of all ages and Ms./Mrs. status are real and candid, and they express feelings most of us can relate to.

WHAT’S IT TO YOU?

“A kiss is an intimate coming together of lips between two people who want to get closer together.”

“It’s that lip-smacking thing. Some are sweet, some romantic,some obligatory (the cheek to cheek kind). It’s an international symbol for affection, caring and
warmth, sometimes better than a handshake.”
S. G.

“An unbelievable magnetic force or attraction that pulls two people together . . .”
P. D.

“It’s a physical way to show little droplets of love and affection.”
K. U.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PET NAMES FOR KISSING?

Eighty percent of the women surveyed have a cute name for a kiss. Half of them use “smooch,” and some variations of the same: smooching, smoocheroo, smooches, smoochy-wooch, smoochie and smoochy.

Other sweet phrases and endearing words for a kiss include:

“Show me some love”
“Let me know you love me”
“Give it to me”
“How ’bout some tongue”
“Give me some sugar”
“Gimme some love”


Kishes Soul-kisses Peck
Mashing Love Kissy
Kissy-wissy Sugar, Sugar Smacks Yummies

HOW DOES KISSING MAKE YOU FEEL?

“I smile whenever I think about kissing. . . . Expectations of joy and pleasure.”
L. B.

“I feel safe,comforted,warm and happy.Kissing to me is a spontaneous gesture of fondness between two people who truly have a bond . . . whose relationship has meaning and significance.
J. R.

“It gives me butterflies in my stomach to think about it. It’s something you do when you have a huge crush on someone, or else when you are madly in love.”
C. L.

The Definition of a Kiss

“What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve:The sure sweet cement, glue and lime of love.”
ROBERT HERRICK (1591–1674)

KISSING BY THE DICTIONARY

Every dictionary has a slightly different set of definitions for a kiss. Here’s a sampling:

1. To salute with the lips, as a mark of affection,reverence, submission, forgiveness, reconciliation, parting, etc.
2. To touch gently, as if fondly or caressing.
3. To make or give salutation with the lips in token of love, respect, etc.; as, kiss and make friends.
4. To meet; to come in contact; to touch fondly.
5. A small piece of confectionery.
6. A cookie made of egg whites and sugar (a.k.a. a meringue).

That good ol’ British bloke Shakespeare called a kiss a “seal of our love.” Another well-known poetic Brit named Sammy Coleridge described it as “nectar breathing.” All pretty romantic stuff.

“A kiss is something you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving.”


KISSING SYNONYMS

A thesaurus offers a plethora of ways to describe a good smooch: abandon, accost, address, attouchement, bid good day, bid good morning, blow a kiss, bob, bow, bow to, breath, brush, brush by, buss, caress, come in contact, contact, contingence, curtsy, cutaneous sense, desert, dismiss, disregard, embrace, exchange greetings, feel, feeling, fingertip caress, flick, forsake, give up, glance, graze, greet, greeting, hail, hand-clasp, hand-mindedness, handshake, hello, hit, how-do-you-do, hug, ignore, impinge, impingement, impingence, kiss hands, lambency, lap, lick, lift the hat, light touch, lip, neck, nod, nod to, nudge, osculate, osculation, peck, pull the forelock, relinquish, renounce, repudiate, rub, salutation, salute, say hello, scrape, sense of touch, shake, shake hands, shave, sideswipe, skim, skirt, smack, smacker, smile, smile of recognition, smooch, spoon, squeak by, stroke, sweep, tactile sense, taction, tangency, tap, tentative contact, tentative poke, touch, touch lightly, touch the hat, touch upon, touching, uncover, wave and whisper.

KISSING IDIOMS AND ACRONYMS

The English language also comes complete with colorful idiomatic expressions:

• Kiss of Death
• Kiss Off and Kiss It Off
• Kiss That One Goodbye
• Kiss The Blarney Stone (more on this one later...)
• Kiss and Tell

And we’re all familiar with the K.I.S.S. acronym— Keep It Simple Stupid. The K.I.S.S. rule applies more to business than kissing (one would hope!), e.g., managers who want to keep things simple, easy to use, understand, etc.

Think of K.I.S.S. as kind of a “kissing cousin” to “Less Is More”, i.e., fewer candles are more romantic for mood lighting vs. enough to fill a church (that could be a fire hazard!).

What K.I.S.S. should really stand for is how you want to be kissed:

• Keep It Sweet Sunshine
• Keep It Sexy Sweetie
• Keep It Sizzlin’ Sexy
• Keep It Scandalous Stud
• Keep It Savage Sugar
• Keep It Saucy Sally
• Keep It Sinful Sammy
• Keep It Smooth Seymour
• Keep It Soaring Superstar

KISSING SLANG

• Kiss my grits
• Kissing cousins
• Sealed with a kiss
• Give me some sugar
• Sweet sixteen and never been kissed
• Stealing a kiss
• I kiss the ground you walk on
• Kiss me, you fool
• Shower with kisses

One Kiss can Speak Thousand Words

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than any final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”
“OF LIFE AND LOVE”, EMIL LUDWIG
(1881–1948)

We girls have all talked about how we know from just a kiss whether or not a guy is right for us. Given the primal physiology and destiny of kissing, it’s no wonder we’re known for saying, “I knew from the moment we kissed...” It’s the chemistry of that first kiss that determines whether you’re on the romantic scenic route, driving away like Barbie in a pink convertible to live happily ever after in a dream house, or back to the frog pond, praying the next web-footed amphibian does a princely morph. Between the power, the magic and the promise of love, sex and even marriage, it can be pretty intense stuff.

“. . . then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down . . . and kissed him. And the world cracked open.”
AGNES DE MILLE (CHOREOGRAPHER AND
DANCER, 1905–1993)

Even long before magazine subscriptions and cable TV talk shows, many women were living and dying by this “I knew from the moment we kissed” philosophy. Just think about the centuries of sweet and sorrowful expressions by artists, poets and musicians. How many other activities can twist and turn between great hope and crushing despair? It’s no wonder the prospect of a first kiss can be a bit intimidating.

“You may conquer with a sword, but you are conquered by a kiss.”
DANIEL HEINSIUS (1580–1566)

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”
SONG OF SOLOMON (THE BIBLE,
SONG OF SOLOMON, 1:1–2)

What Happens to our Bodies When We Kiss?

Be it an impulsive peck of affection or a succulent languorous lip-lock, a kiss can tickle like an innocent crush or make you shudder with anticipated delight. No matter what kissing means to you, it’s sure to get your juices flowing.

WE’RE WIRED FOR PLEASURE

Experts say all that “warm ’n fuzzy” oozing through us like the raspberry jam piped into a powdered jelly donut, stimulates our brain. When lips and tongues intertwine, our neural networks get fired up. Zing! A signal transmits the 411 from the eensy nerves in our mouths, lips and nose to the brain in a nanosecond. That little cranial box is the ultimate operating system. Our hearts beat double time. Our lungs pump pump pump. Our salivary glands mist like a garden sprinkler. And our jawbones unhinge as our snake-charmed tongues come a’ twirlin’ out like a swizzled cocktail stirrer (did you know the jaw is the only bone in the skull with an open-and shut latch?).

“The anatomical juxtaposition of two obbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction.”
DR. HENRY GIBBONS (1808–1884)

With tongues and lips slinking and sliding all over, that signal zips along the spine (our internal cable wire). Messages from the pancreas and adrenal glands tap our pelvic nerves. Everything starts puffing and expanding. Arteries and veins burst open wide. Lips swell like they’ve been stung by bees. With all that blood rushing and spreading through us like a wildfire, we get all flushed. And tingle in certain places. It’s like we’ve been tickled with a feather. Ooo la la, your toes start to sing!

“It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.”
CHRISTAIN NESTELL BOVEE (1820–1904)

Getting scientific for a moment, good passionate kissing causes a norepinephrine, dopamine and phenylethylamine rush (also known as PEA). These neurotransmitters collide with the brain’s pleasure receptors, creating feelings of delirium. Parachuting, bungee jumping and other extreme sports cause a similar adrenaline surge. If you ask me, that’s really a lot of work with the renting of all that equipment and stuff (let alone the risk) for a high you could get in your living room.

AN INFORMATION ROUND-UP

Accenting all this delightfulness, kissing is instructional. Just ask a philematologist (one who studies kissing). They’ll tell you kissing is an instinctual survival mechanism that allows us to send and receive vital information.

With a kiss, a girl sips a guy’s pheremonal cocktail. Brushing against his cheeks and lips, she picks up his scent, his smell and his taste. It can also signal his intentions, expressions and personality. If his hygiene and skin care runs rugged or fair. Whether he’s generous or a tad stingy. Even if he’s had Chinese for lunch.

Sweet as Honey Kiss

Then there’s the bonding kiss between a parent and child, or grandparent and grandchild. This exchange is filled with the purest, unconditional love that washes over you like a sweetly fragrant bubble bath. Super delectable, it swells the heart with an unparalleled sense of belonging.

All my grandparents were known for kissing me (and each of their grandchildren) with unusual frequency and gusto. Grabbing my little mug, they’d come into my face for a soft, teeny nibble. I’d flex my cheeks and cry, “Owww, that hurt!” Despite my yelps, and exaggerated wiping of the face, I knew this was a demonstration of their unadulterated love. As I grew, there’d be nothing more delicious than curling up with my grandmas for some love bites. Their sweetness dripped like the honey syrup in their baklavas.

Purely Platonic Kiss

On the flip side of the quivering shivering variety, there’s the “platonic” kiss. This is nicknamed after that ancient Greek philosopher Plato, who put himself on the map when he opened the “Academy” back in 385 b.c. It’s believed when students and scholars entered the Academy, they’d “high-five” each other with a friendly salutation kiss to the cheek, hand or shoulder. Since only men were allowed in, the “platonic” kiss was devoid of any sexy inclinations. And thus why we girls when asked “What’s up?” about a boy we’re hanging with have casually feigned, “Oh, its just platonic.”

Quivering Shivering

A kiss can also be a frisky, fun, delectable burst of electricity that literally knocks you to your knees.This is that kiss that outright intoxicates you, diminishes your capacity to think, causes midday distractions that lead to sky-high nighttime fantasies, and hampers your ability to speak clearly and succinctly. It can even reduce you to feeling like an awkward teenager whose unrequited crush on the high school hottie leaves her banging into locker doors during hallway sightings.

I’ve been known to get loopy and “skip to my lou”when I think of that super-suave secret agent man 007and certain mortals I’ve been lucky enough to kiss.There’s no special profile. Just that certain kiss-a-risma when wrapped the right way that makes them totally irresistible. Whatever it might be, you become fixated. I refer to this mania as the “James Bond.” His mere essence could provoke an extreme sacrifice for but one fleeting moment of rapture. I’d literally give my eyeteeth just to gently caress the lower lip of that sexy spy!

Warm ’n Fuzzy Kiss

At times, kissing is like sipping a tasty, warm, cup of cocoa with teeny floating marshmallows and whipped cream. Lying on a big cozy couch snuggled up lip to lip (and skin to skin) while the rain drizzles softly against the window, you kiss lazily to the song “Besame Mucho” (translation: “Kiss Me a Lot”). You’re utterly relaxed. The world outside muffled. Catnaps in betweendreamy soft kisses and sweet whispers. An almost Zen state of kiss.

This is the perfect kind of kissing when you’re tired,need a little TLK (tender loving kissing!) or just feel likes pooning in the romantic intimacy of being so close to someone that you literally share their breath.

The Many Faces of a Kiss

Kissing. It conjures up a swash of wonderful emotions, sensations and meanings. Originally an instinctual prelude to mating, kissing transformed human kind by becoming the universal glue that binds. An on verbal communication that declares a thousand things. A bridge to our past, present and future. Destiny where “soul meets soul on lover’s lips” (Percy Bysshe Shelley).

A kiss is both given and received. It’s spontaneous.Unique. Intuitive. Indelible. Secretive. Affectionate.Passionate. Romantic and blissful. Heavenly and holy. It can be sexual. Or pure. Innocent. Or provocative. It can’t be faked. Its duality can bring great joy. Or deep sorrow.Render you weak. Or brave. Vulnerable. Or invincible. It can awaken. Or even kill. A link between our inner psyche and outer world, a kiss is a mysterious, yet revealing, life-sustaining force. A signature of love. And reverence. A symbol of tragedy. And betrayal. Of greeting and farewell. Simple yet so complex, its power is infinite.

Mostly, a kiss is simply a nice way to say hello. And spread a little love. It’s also fun to do in a shower, at the movies, on a park bench, over a candlelit dinner or in bed first thing in the morning. There’s really no better way to spend time with someone you love, like or unabashedly lust for. Whatever else it may be, kissing is a beautiful thing.